


Collision Course

by KKetura



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, F/M, Force Bond (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Mutual Pining, RFFA Valentine's Exchange 2018, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-18 12:22:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13681590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KKetura/pseuds/KKetura
Summary: When a meeting is proposed between the First Order and Resistance to discuss a truce, Rey is set on a collision course with the man who has haunted her for months.





	Collision Course

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JusticarAlenko](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JusticarAlenko/gifts).



> Written for JusticarAlenko for the RFFA Valentine's Exchange. Her prompt request was for secret meetings, either in person or through the bond, with lots of anger, angst, pining, and pain and ending in some sexy time. Hopefully I hit all the wickets. 
> 
> I had a total blast writing this for you! Hope you enjoy!

Rey leaned back against the wall and let out a long sigh. The Resistance leadership had been arguing with each other for what seemed like an eternity. She didn’t understand why. The First Order had sent them a request for a meeting to discuss a _truce_. When Rey had first heard, she’d thought everyone would jump at the chance to stop fighting and actually work towards a form of peace, but the message had just sent everyone spiraling into chaos. Leia had called their small group of leaders together and there had been nothing but yelling and arguing ever since.

Finn nudged her from where he sat next to her on the outskirts of the meeting. “I think D’acy actually just agreed with Poe. This might actually be over soon.”

Rey looked back at the group with General D’acy had stood and was thrusting an accusing finger at Poe. “Could be a major breakthrough,” she said sarcastically, shooting her friend a sideways glance.

“Definitely.” Finn crossed his arms. “They’ll make the right decision. We can’t keep fighting the First Order forever. The only way to find out if they’re serious is to actually start talking with them.”

Rey nodded, about to say something when a by now familiar tug ran through her and everything around her suddenly seemed inconsequential. She didn’t need to look around for him. She could almost pinpoint exactly where he was in the room with her, his presence drawing her like a lode stone.

She turned slightly and forced herself to look up, immediately finding Ben staring back nearly halfway across the room, oddly surrounded by Resistance fighters. His eyes narrowed slightly and then he started towards her, a determined look on his face.

Rey blanched and then jumped when Finn touched her shoulder, looking at her with concern in his eyes. “You alright?” he asked in a tone like he knew he wasn’t going to get an answer. He’d become all too used to her odd states of distraction over the past few months.

She gave him a small nod, wishing for the hundredth time that she could tell him about the force bond, knowing that he would never understand. She stood and he let out a small, exasperated sigh. “You have to go?” he asked, already knowing the answer.

“I’ll be back soon. Let me know if anything important happens,” she said and hurried out of the crowded room. She managed to make it to the main hallway before he caught up with her.

“Rey,” Ben snapped, his voice wrapping around her and making her breath quicken like it always did. She stopped, glancing around to see if there was anyone within earshot before she turned to face him. They stared at each other in silence for a long, drawn out moment, his eyes raking over her as if taking in every detail. She reluctantly let herself do the same. The bond hadn't been active in over a week, and as much as she didn't want to admit it, she couldn't help the sense of relief she felt at seeing him standing in front of her.

He shifted slightly, moving closer as his expression darkened. “I’ve been needing to talk to you for days. Where have you been?”

She stared steadily back at him, ignoring the tone of accusation in his voice.  They both were more than aware that neither had control of what was happening to them. “Is that really what you want to ask me?”

He muttered something under his breath that she couldn’t understand and stepped closer again. “Hux sent the Resistance a message asking for a meeting. We haven’t received a response and he’s becoming… annoying.”

   Rey forced herself not to back up as he got closer. She normally tried to keep her distance during their force connections, the idea of accidentally touching him, of reigniting that sense of belonging she had felt, haunting her with each encounter. But Ben had started to notice her careful approach and had recently started testing it. After weeks of their tedious game, she was tired of constantly dancing away from him, ready to call his bluff.

She looked up at him as he stopped a hair’s breadth away. “So Hux is being his usual self. What does that have to do with me?” she asked, proud that her voice came out steady.

He looked down at her with a small swallow, his eyes darting over her face. “Why haven’t your _friends_ answered?”

“Because they haven’t decided what to do. They think it’s a trap. Is it?”

“Not that I know of.”

Rey shook her head. “That’s not the same as a no.”

He frowned slightly, but she saw something spark in his eye. “No, it’s not a trap. This war is going to rip the galaxy apart. If it keeps going, there’ll be nothing left to put back together. No one wants to rule over a pile of ash. Hux knows this is the only way.”

Rey searched his face, finding nothing but truth. “And what about you? A few months ago you would have done everything in your power to destroy the Resistance. You’re the Supreme Leader now. Is this what you want too?”

She saw some emotion flicker across his face, a brief glimpse of something she’d only been allowed flashes of in all their time together. “The situation was different then, and I've had time to think about what really matters." His gaze locked on hers and her breath caught. "And you know what I want,” he finished, his voice low. He brought his hand up, and Rey felt her heart shudder to a stop, too startled to say anything or jump away.

Her eyes slid closed as she felt him wrap a small, loose tendril of her hair around his finger, her heart threatening to pound out of her chest.

“Rey?” a voice called from behind her and her eyes flew open. Ben was gone and she found herself standing alone, her body unsure if it wanted to start shaking violently or collapse into a puddle on the floor.

Instead she spun around to find Finn standing in the hall, a confused, concerned expression on his face. “Where you talking to yourself?” he asked, glancing past her, down the hall.

She nodded, trying to suppress her mortification. “Bad habit from all the time I spent alone on Jakku.”

“I’ve never heard you do it before.”

“Did something happen in the meeting?” she asked, forcibly changing the subject.

Finn nodded. “They’ve made a decision.”

 

* * *

 

 

“We’re going to reject their invitation,” D’Acy said with a final nod of her head, obviously pleased with the outcome.

Rey felt a weight settle on her chest, a disbelief that _that_ was the conclusion they had finally arrived upon. It was obvious that not everyone was happy. Leia and Poe, the biggest proponents of the meeting, sat looking the opposite of pleased, Poe angry, and Leia with a haggard expression that said this feeling was something she had regrettably become used to.

“The meeting is most assuredly a trap, and with no way to confirm otherwise, it’s just too great a risk.”

Rey was on her feet before she could stop herself. “I know it’s not a trap,” she shouted, watching a dozen sets of eyes turn to fix on her. Her spark of determination stuttered, suddenly realizing she was going to have to explain that statement. She knew telling everyone that Kylo Ren had told her it was a genuine offer wasn’t going to be the best course of action. “I’ve—I’ve felt it through the Force,” she blurted out instead, her hands clenching as she tried to convince herself it wasn’t a total lie. She had heard it during a _Force_ connection.

Rey glanced at Leia, feeling the pressure of her gaze and immediately looked away, knowing she might have reached too far. Most of the time she could get away with saying whatever she wanted about the Force—it was easier than explaining how it really worked—but most of the time Leia wasn’t in the room, and it wasn’t about something as important as meeting with the First Order.

While the rest of the leadership muttered amongst themselves, renewed arguing sprouting up around the room, Leia rose and walked over to Rey, motioning for the door. Rey swallowed and followed, her palms sweaty. 

As they walked, she couldn't help but note for what seemed like the hundredth time how much the strong woman had seemed to wither away during their months of pulling the Resistance back together. Rey didn't know what was taking a toll on her, but she desperately didn't want to add to it with the truth of what had been going on between her and Ben. 

Leia led her into a small room just outside the main one, shutting the door firmly behind them. Rey glanced around, wondering briefly if they were in a broom closet.

“No one bothers to bug the cleaning rooms,” the general said, seeing her look. “Now tell me how exactly _the Force_ told you that this meeting was safe.”

Rey forced herself not to back away. Even if Leia was physically diminished, mentally she was as terrifying as ever. She thought about lying, but she knew that Leia probably knew more about the Force than her.

She’d been dreading this conversation ever since she’d returned to the Resistance. She hadn’t told anyone about her connection to Ben Solo, hoping for a period after Snoke’s death that it would eventually fade on its own, disappearing like it had never been. After a month of trying to ignore the unwanted contact with Ben, she had given up and started talking to him again. At first it had been demands, wanting to know why he had attacked Crait and faced down Luke, but eventually it had fallen back into the odd companionability she had felt before she’d shipped herself to the Supremacy. That was when she knew she couldn’t tell anyone. Who would possibly understand what was happening between the two of them? She certainly didn’t.

“What’s wrong, Rey? What happened?” Leia asked again, her tone softening as Rey’s distress became more apparent.

“The Force, it’s been connecting me and… and your son,” she forced out, glancing up to see Leia’s eyes widen slightly. “I can see him and hear him. It’s like we’re in the same room together when it happens.”

Leia sat down on a nearby, overturned bucket. “How long?”

Rey wrapped her arms around herself. “Since I went to Ach-To. When I went to the Supremacy, I didn’t go to kill Snoke. I went to save Ben. It didn’t work. ”

“And he’s the one that told you this meeting isn’t a trap.” She sighed, shaking her head. “I’m sorry, Rey, but he most likely was lying to you. He’d do anything to see an end to the Resistance—”

“No, it’s not like that,” she said firmly, dreading the next part. “I know everyone thinks I killed Snoke, but it wasn’t me. He did it. He did it to save me. It wasn’t enough to turn him completely, but there’s still good in him, somewhere. And the last few months, I can’t describe it, but something has changed. Maybe it’s because Snoke isn’t in his head all the time, but he’s different. He didn’t lie to me about this.” She looked up at Leia, her gaze firm. “I know he didn’t.”

Leia looked up sharply, her eyes piercing, searching Rey's face. “He killed Snoke?" Rey nodded and her gaze turned thoughtful. "And you believe this? After everything?”

Rey’s expression hardened. After leaving the Supremacy, she’d doubted Ben herself, sure that he had fully given himself to the Dark Side, but over the past few months she’d come to realize that she couldn’t have been more wrong. With Snoke gone, Ben was more conflicted than ever, the longing and loneliness she felt in him enough to break her heart.  

“I do,” she said firmly. “I’ve never felt something more true in my life.”

Leia looked down at her hands twisting in her lap and Rey held her breath. When the older woman looked up again, there were tears in her eye. “Thank you, Rey. Everyone else has failed him…me, Han, Luke, even himself, maybe I didn’t even try hard enough. In the end, I think he’s going to have to save himself from the darkness, but with you there, I have more hope than ever that this time he’ll make it.” A small smile crossed her face and she stood, taking Rey’s hand in hers and squeezing gently. “You’ve given me hope again.”

Rey felt her own tears threatening at the look of love in Leia’s eyes. She shook her head. “I haven’t done anything.”

Leia smiled knowingly, but didn’t argue. “We’ll go to the meeting. I’ll make sure of it.”

 

* * *

 

 

After several more hours of intense arguments, Leia was true to her word and the Resistance finally agreed to meet with the First Order. They decided on the delegation they would send, and thought Finn wasn't on it, Rey couldn't help but share in her friend's excitement.

"This will be a real chance for peace," Finn said for what seemed like the hundredth time as they left the gathering and headed for dinner. Rey nodded in agreement, noting once again the change in Finn since the battle of Crait. She almost envied his new unwavering dedication to the Resistance and overall optimism, wishing she could feel the same. She was just glad that Rose had had such a positive influence on her friend. Finn glanced at her as they went. "What's it like?" 

She glanced at him with a frown. "What's what like?" 

"You know. Just being able to  _know_ things through the Force? That has got to be pretty wild."

Rey looked away, suddenly extremely uncomfortable. "It's not like that, really. I have no idea what I'm doing most of the time."

Finn shrugged. "You seem to be doing alright from what I can see."

Dinner went on much the same way, with Rose and Poe eventually joining them, both equally congratulatory to Rey on changing the tide of the meeting. 

She excused herself as soon as she could and fled to her room, both hopeful for their future for the first time in a long time and also consumed by guilt at lying to everyone. 

Rey didn't know when she fell asleep, but a shudder in the Force woke her sometime in the middle of the night. She sat straight up in her small bed, her hands clenching in the covers as she realized what was happening. She felt peace, tinged with sadness and acceptance, and then it was gone. Then _she_ was gone.

Rey was on her feet, moving for the door before she realized there was nothing she could do. Leia was gone, one with the Force.

She sat down heavily on the bed, the realization that she’d never again be able to talk to the fearless woman hitting her hard. She felt tears well in her eyes and spill over. This was different than when Luke had passed. He had made a conscious decision. She knew Leia had not, even if she had been at peace with it in the end.

 She eventually heard frantic movement in the hall and knew that others were becoming aware of what had happened. She had finally motivated herself to stand and go see how she could help when she felt the Force tug at her again.

Ben was standing with his back to her, unmoving, but she could feel the pain coming off of him like a wounded animal.

Rey pushed herself off the bed and took a hesitant step towards him, wanting to reach out but something held her back.

“Do you know how it happened?” he asked after several long, silent moments.

“No,” she said, her voice raw as she took another step closer. “It’s night here. They haven’t raised any alarms. I think it was just her time.”

“Of course it was. Everything was on her time,” he snapped, anger and bitterness making his words sharp.

“Ben,” she started to say but he spun on her, making her fall silent.

“No! You have no idea who she really was. She didn’t give a damn about anyone except her precious Republic, and when they turned on her, the Resistance. _That’s_ the women you’re weeping for now,” he sneered, motioning at her tear streaked face, “a cold, heartless bitch.”

Rey felt her own anger catch. “She loved you. I saw it in her eyes just today. You know that’s the truth.”

“She had an odd way of showing it.”

Rey stepped into him, forcing him to look down at her. She could see the anger on his face, but underneath that she realized he was using it to hide the deep seated pain that was threatening to overwhelm him.

“She was human. She made mistakes. So do you. So do I.”

A little muscle under his eye twitched and he stepped away, pacing across the room and back.

“I told her about what’s been happening between us. She convinced the Resistance to go to the meeting, because she trusted you.”

He didn’t say anything, just continued to pace.

“Ben, it’s okay to be upset. She was your mother.”

“Stop,” he growled, rounding on her. “Just stop.”

“No!” she almost yelled back. “Not when you need to hear this. I’m here. Let me help you!”

 He made a harsh noise and she could feel the Force bending around him, the connection straining to keep them together as he wreaked havoc on whatever his surroundings were. She shuddered, unsure what to do, and then he slumped, his shoulders buckling a moment before his knees followed.

Rey’s breath caught as she stepped forward and knelt next to him. He was completely still, as if the rage he had just spent had been all that was animating him. She hesitantly reached out a hand and let it slide along his back, forcing herself to ignore how right the connection felt.

“I’m sorry, Ben,” she said softly, almost afraid of what would happen if she broke the spell.

He turned abruptly under her touch and pulled her into him, his face buried in her chest, his arms snaked around her, holding her tightly.

She froze for a brief moment, her heart hammering at the sudden, all-encompassing contact with him, the feel of the heat of his body seeping into hers, and then she sank into it with a sigh. Her arm around his back tightened possessively as her other hand came up and she slowly let herself touch his hair, her fingers eventually sinking into the soft curls with a gentle caress.

She could feel his grief rolling off of him in waves, mingling with her own, as they both silently took comfort in one another, slowly healing the hole they both felt inside themselves. They stayed that way until Rey lost all track of time, only aware of the path her fingers traced through his hair, the steady, rhythmic heat of his breath against her chest, and the feel of his heartbeat against her stomach and under her hand.

After what felt like an eternity, he shifted in her hold, his hands unclenching, his grip splaying out against her hips as his palms pressed against her, his fingers pressing into the curve of her waist.

Rey froze just as he did a moment later, suddenly feeling more than just the platonic comfort they had been sharing only a second before. She abruptly found herself intimately aware of how close he was against her, of how, if he shifted his head just slightly, it wasn’t going to be her breast bone that his mouth was pressed against.

 She was afraid to move, afraid of breaking the tension between them, and not knowing if she wanted it to stop or keep going to a place she’d never experienced before.

Finally, she felt his grip tighten on her hip even as he pulled back slightly. Her hand in his hair tightened seemingly involuntarily, holding him in place, and he looked up at her, his eyes blazing as they searched her face.

“If you don’t want this, then say it,” he said softly but with an intensity that made her shudder. His fingers pressed into her, just shy of painful. “Because I can’t—”

She leaned into him hesitantly and his words cut off as his breath hitched. She paused, still unsure of her own desires, and then he surged up, capturing her lips with his, and all doubt vanished.

She gasped at the feel of his mouth against her own, the soft glide of his lips that made her want to devour him. She pressed against him, knowing she wanted more but not what that more was as she deepened the kiss. The sudden feel of his tongue against hers ripped a small moan from her throat and he pulled her roughly against him, one hand coming up to the back of her neck before tangling in her hair, angling her so he could do it again.

Rey felt her legs tremble and she sank down, starting to fall to her own knees before his arm around her waist stopped her. She pressed herself closer and suddenly became aware of the hardness pressed against her stomach, the desperateness that was quickly overtaking both of them, and where exactly this was all very swiftly leading.  

She pulled away slightly, suddenly unsure, and he let her go like she’d given him an electric shock. She barely caught herself on her own feet as she fell back, staring at his disheveled form kneeling before her.

His hair was a mess, curls at every odd angle, and his lips were more red than she’d ever seen them. Even as she saw the uncertainty start to bleed into his eyes, they were still dazed with want and lust, and she never thought she’d seen anything so beautiful in her life.

She saw something dark flit across his face as he watched her, his hands clenching in his lap. “And this is you saying no.”

Rey swallowed, trying to get moisture back into her mouth and her body to stop shaking. “No. This is me trying to understand what’s going on.” She looked around her small room as the reality of what had happened started to sink in. “You’re not even really here. What’s happening between us, Ben?”

She hated how vulnerable she sounded at the end, but she couldn’t hide it. Her trembling only got worse, and she wrapped her arms around herself. Leia was gone. Han and Luke were gone. And the only person she wanted to comfort her was on a ship a thousand lightyears away. They had the Force bond, but she knew that would never be enough, not for either one of them to be happy.

“I just wish you were actually here,” she breathed, tears blooming in her eyes, wishing for the thousandth time that he’d chosen differently after killing Snoke, that their lives weren’t nearly so complicated, but now for an entirely new reason.

Ben stood slowly, his own expression more vulnerable than she had ever seen. “Rey,” he started to say, and then was gone.

Rey stared at the spot where he had just stood for a silent moment before she fell to her knees and let the sobs come.

 

* * *

 

 

Leia’s funeral was held a few days later, the galaxy still in shock at her sudden and unexpected passing.

Poe naturally fell in to fill the void that she had left behind in the Resistance and it was quickly decided that the meeting with the First Order would still take place on schedule, as was Leia’s last wish.

The Force connection didn’t activate again in the time between and Rey didn’t know if she was angry or relieved. She was unsure how what had happened between them would change the uneasy, tension filled truce they had been existing with for the past several months, or how it would affect his decisions at the meeting that was fast approaching.

The day finally arrived and with it the directions to a neutral space station over the planet Drexel that was generously hosting the meeting for a small fee. Rey and the group of Resistant leadership that had been chosen to attend boarded the Falcon and they were off.

Hours later, Rey found herself in an elevator, palms sweaty and nerves frayed as the metal box raced towards a meeting she did not feel at all prepared for. She tugged at her shirt, adjusting it for what felt like the hundredth time. She wiped her clammy hands on her pant legs then forced herself to stand still. Poe shot her a glance, clearly asking with his expression if she was all right. She forced herself to nod then stared straight ahead as their elevator continued the seemingly endless climb.

She knew she needed to concentrate on what mattered most in this meeting, a peaceful outcome between the First Order and the Resistance, but she couldn’t get the thought _him_ out of her mind, what he’d felt like under her hands, the way his lips made her feel like she was on fire.

The door hissed open and the small contingent of Resistance leadership left the lift, stepping into the darkened meeting room. Their First Order counterparts were already there, waiting at a long table set in the middle of the room.

Rey’s eyes snapped to Ben’s as soon as she stepped off the elevator, and she felt her breath leave her, her chest tight. He sat at the center of the table, flanked by a redheaded general she knew was Hux and another officer she didn’t know. Several Stormtroopers were stationed behind them, looking relaxed but alert. She’d seen him through the Force bond so many times, but she’d almost forgotten how much more intense his presence was in person, the way eyes seemed to gravitate towards him.

Poe sat across from Ben with D’Acy and Connix next to him. Rey remained standing a few steps back from the main table. She wasn’t there to negotiate, more for her presence to remind them that the Jedi still lived.

“We’re all here then,” Hux said, his voice as condescending as ever. “Just to confirm before we start this debacle, you are, in fact, _not_ here to surrender, correct?”

“Right,” Poe said, leaning back in his chair. He met Hux’s condescension with equal sarcasm, even as he cast wary glances at Ben. “Are _you_ going to surrender?”

“Obviously not,” Hux snapped, looking indignant.

“Alright then, now that that’s out of the way, we can get to what we really came here to talk about.”

“Not with that _scavenger_ here,” the general hissed, barely glancing at Rey, as if the mere sight of her offended him. “She murdered our Supreme Leader. By all rights, we should be demanding her head. She will leave.”

“She’ll stay,” Ben said firmly, speaking for the first time, his gaze still firmly fixed on hers.

Hux sulked back into his chair and Poe cast her a concerned glance, but didn’t say anything. She knew he’d ask later.

“You’re losing,” Ben finally said, his dark eyes finally leaving her as he turned to Poe. “You’ve _been_ losing.”

“Still here though,” Poe said, leaning forward slightly. “And obviously doing enough to keep your attention.”

“Hence this meeting,” Hux replied. “Your guerilla tactics are mostly annoying, but they are affecting the infrastructure that we are attempting to establish. You will stop.”

“You’re oppressing people! We’re not going to just _stop_ because we’re inconveniencing you. That’s kind of the point!”

“You’re doing nothing but hurting the very people you are claiming to be fighting for,” Hux countered, a sour look on his face like he couldn’t believe what he just said. “We are willing to offer terms for your immediate cessation of hostilities.”

Poe frowned slightly, glancing at his two commanders. “We’re listening.”

“The Resistance will be allowed to keep the systems in the Outer Rim that have declared their allegiance. You will be allowed to exist there, unmolested, as long as you afford us the same courtesy.”

“And you get the rest of the Galaxy to do with as you please. Seems like a rotten deal.”

Hux’s normally sour expression became even more pinched. “You get to keep your miserable lives and the systems that have aligned themselves with you. That is the best deal you will ever get from the First Order.”

“We’re fighting for the rights of everyone in the galaxy, not just a few planets in the Outer Rim. If we pull all our forces back, how will we know you aren’t going to fall right back into the habits of the Empire?”

Ben shifted in his chair, and four sets of eyes snapped to him. “We’re here to negotiate,” he said in a low voice. “So negotiate.”

Rey saw something spark in Poe’s eye. “We want a seat at the table— _your_ table. A delegation of our people will be inserted into your leadership, have oversight over all major operations, and be unhindered in their ability to report back to the Resistance. And we want real change in your organization, starting with an end to the current Stormtrooper program. As long as our representatives remain unharmed and we don’t hear anything alarming, our truce holds.”

Hux started to say something but Ben cut him off. “A _small_ delegation, and we’ll discuss your issues with our soldiers. Anything else?”

“We’ll send you the list. We can meet again in the morning to continue discussions.”

Hux was already on his feet, the rest of the table following more slowly. “In the morning then,” he said shortly and turned to leave, stopping after a few steps when he realized his Supreme Leader was still standing at the table.

Poe and the others started moving for the door and Rey started to follow with one last glance at Ben. As she turned away she felt a tug through the Force, like the air around her rushed and shuddered. It felt like one of their Force connections, her awareness of him skyrocketing. She’d never experienced one when they were physically in the same space so she couldn’t be sure. Her steps slowed and she nearly stumbled to a stop, her heart hammering in her ears.

“Rey?” Poe’s voice finally broke through and she looked up at him, almost startled. “Are you coming?”

“I’ll meet you down at the rooms,” she said through numb lips, unable to block out the acute awareness of the person behind her. She could feel him coming around the table, waiting for her.

Poe glanced behind her, his frown deepening. “Are you sure? I can wait.”

She shook her head. “I’ll be fine. Go ahead.”  

Hux cleared his throat somewhere off to the side of the room. “Supreme Leader—”

“Get out,” Ben growled, his words snapping with impatience. She could hear the sounds of the Stormtroopers leaving a moment later.

Poe reached out and grabbed her hand, pressing a commlink into her palm. “You need anything, you let us know. We’ll be here.”

“Thanks,” she said, tucking the relay into her belt. “I’ll see you soon.” He nodded and reluctantly headed for the waiting lift, casting a concerned look back at her before the doors hissed shut.

“How is this happening?” she asked, hating the odd double sensation she was getting through the Force and her normal senses.

“How does it ever happen?” He sounded closer, his voice taking on a softer tone now that they were alone.

She forced herself to turn, and almost fell back when she realized just how close he was, only a few steps away, towering over her.  Part of her wanted to reach out and jerk him into her and pick up where they’d last left off. Instead she clenched her hands and grit her teeth, forcing herself to think about why she was really there.  “Are you really serious about those terms? You’d really leave us alone?”

A muscle in his jaw twitched, his eyes blazing. “Hux is. It took some convincing before we arrived, but he can be quite pliable.” He took a step closer. “The real reason I agreed to this meeting was to see you.”

She let out a shuddering breath. “Ben, this is about more than just you and me.”

“I know it is. This war is almost over. Neither the First Order or the Resistance can keep this up much longer without destroying each other. And then where will the galaxy be? In chaos. You and I, we could change that.”

Rey felt a familiar pain in her chest. Was he really back to the same argument that had ripped them apart the first time? “You know I can’t do that. I have a duty to the Resistance, to doing what is right—”

“You heard what Hux said. He’ll leave them to their Outer Rim hovels. But _you_. You were meant for more than that.”

“I won’t abandon them!”

“But you’ll abandoned me? Again,” he said, his tone flat.

Rey felt like she’d been punched in the gut. She took a step back, frowning up at him with a shake of her head. The subject of what Ben had done after the Supremacy had come up when Rey had just started acknowledging the Force bond again after Crait. It had resulting in some fantastic arguments, but they had never talked about their decisions right after the fight. He had never talked about his reasons to not go with her, and she had never talked about why she had fled, leaving him unconscious on the floor. The memory had always been too painful, but the thought that she had _abandoned_ him… “I didn’t—”

“You _did_ ,” he hissed, stepping into her, refusing to give her space. “You left me on that broken ship, unconscious—”

“You’d made a choice to stay! There were people there to help you!”

He seemed about to say more when he suddenly stepped back, his expression turning dark. “This is a waste of time,” he said in a low voice, “it always has been,” and he turned for the exit.

“Ben, wait!” she called, jumping after him and grabbing his arm.

He spun reflexively, his own hand twisting around and gripping hers before she could pull away. As his closed around hers, she could feel the Force wrapping around them, the rightness of it settling into her very being even as tension flared between them. The unfathomable spark that she always felt in his presence flared even brighter, binding her tighter than durasteel.

She gasped, her hand clenching unconsciously as his own grip tightened on hers.

 “Why?” he asked, his voice breathless as his eyes darted across her face.

She blinked in confusion, not knowing what he was asking. There were so many whys. Why she’d left him on the Supremacy. Why she had reached for him now. Why kissing him had felt so right. Why she couldn’t bear to see him walk out of that room full of anger and frustration after everything that happened between them. Why the Force was doing this to them at all.

“Just don’t go. Not yet. Not like this,” she finally said, not knowing what else to say. They’d had so many unfinished conversations, the Force bond closing before she could ever get answers, that she just couldn’t bear the idea of him leaving, not when he was there in front of her, in person. Not when all she really wanted was to be on the same side for once and banish the loneliness that was their constant companion.

He swallowed, his dark eyes searching her face. He pulled her closer, reaching up to brush an errant strand of hair from her face before he slowly let her go, obviously reluctant to break the contact. “They want to send a group to work with us,” he finally said. “You need to be one of the people they send.”

Rey hadn’t even considered that a possibility. She automatically assumed any of the more qualified people in the Resistance would be the ones to go. “Send to you, you mean.”

“To me.”

“They’re not going to send me. They’ll send people that are actually qualified to lead, that know how to help run the galaxy.”

“You’re more powerful than any of them.”

“Power doesn’t make a leader!”

“No,” he said sharply, causing her to fall silent. “But it can make one listen, and that’s what this job is really about.”

She frowned, taken aback as she considered his words.

“I have to go,” he said, glancing towards the door where the other First Order members had left with obvious displeasure.

“I’ll think about what you said.”

“We should talk again. Before the meeting tomorrow.”

“How—”

“You’ll find me, Rey.” His hand moved as if he was going to reach out to her again, but didn’t. He nodded and without another word, left the room.

She hadn’t noticed when the bond broke, but as he disappeared into the other elevator, she realized that it was gone too. She let out a shuddering breath, wrapping her arms around herself, and wondered what she was going to do.

  

* * *

 

 

She slipped through the main door, sighing when she saw the small contingent gathered in the main suite.

“Did everything go all right?” Poe asked, standing as she slowly walked over to the table.

“It was fine,” she forced out, sliding into one of the empty chairs.  

“We were just discussing the truce terms,” Poe said, sitting back down in his chair. “We’ve decided on a few things we’ll be asking for in addition to what they already offered.”

“We need to decide who we’re sending,” Connix chimed in.

“Sending the right people is immensely important,” D’Acy said, leaning forward. “If only Leia were here…”

Poe nodded. The loss of General Organa was still fresh in everyone’s minds, the pain sharp. “I know. She’d know exactly what to do. I still think—”

“It _can’t_ be you,” Connix argued, her tone making it obvious that this wasn’t the first time she’d had to do so. “You’re the leader of the Resistance now.”

“Exactly! They would have to listen to me. It would be too much of a risk to just have me killed.”

“Or that’s exactly what they’re hoping for! You go with them and they turn around and betray us. We just lost Leia. How do you think we’ll recover if we lose you too?” D’Acy asked, nearly shouting.

Rey looked around the table as they continued to argue, not seeing any end in sight. She sat back in her chair, thinking about what Poe had just said, how closely it echoed Ben’s words from earlier. Could she really demand the ear of the First Order? Could she make Hux listen to what she had to say? _Could_ she make the galaxy a better place, not by being a symbol of hope, but by her own actions?

“I’ll do it.”

The words were out before she could stop herself. She could feel her cheeks flush red as everyone at the table fell silent and turned to her. “I can do it,” she said again, forcing herself to sit up straighter.

“You’re the last Jedi left in possibly the entire galaxy. This is too risky,” Connix said, shaking her head.

“That’s why it has to be me. B—Kylo Ren is a Force user. He’s only going to respect another Force user. And I can make Hux listen.”

“You’d have to murder children to get that mad dog to respect you,” Connix said, shaking her head. Rey wasn’t sure to which one she was referring.

“No,” Poe said, his expression thoughtful. “This could work.”

Rey started to open her mouth to argue then snapped it shut. “Really? You think so?”

He nodded. “You can take care of yourself, everyone will know who you are, and you might actually stand a chance of being on even footing with Kylo Ren.” He nodded. “This could work. We send a few officers to help with the military side and a few of the remaining senators for the politics and we’ll have all our bases covered. You’re the missing link.”

Rey sat back in her chair, stunned, and looked up at the slow nods that were going around the table. She was really going to do this. There was a chance she was actually going to be with Ben on a daily basis, working towards the same goal.

She stood abruptly, pressing her hands to the table so no one saw them shaking. “If that’s settled then, I’m going to go,” she said slowly.

“You’re definitely alright with this, Rey?” Poe asked, his expression so open and honest she wanted to hug him. “If you’re having second thoughts, you can always say no.”

She shook her head. “No, this is right. This is what I’m meant to do.”

 

* * *

 

 

The station was essentially split in two with only a few points of entry between the two negotiating party’s respective sides. Rey continued her way down the narrow corridor, already having mind tricked her way past the Resistance guards. She knew they probably would have let her pass if she had simply asked, but she hadn’t wanted to deal with the questions and rumors when she had returned. As she approached the Stormtroopers waiting at the opposite end, she prepared to do the same, but the two guards stepped aside, leaving room for her to pass.

She stopped anyway, feeling confused. “Are you letting everyone by?” she asked nervously, her fingers tapping anxiously on the hilt of her reconstructed lightsaber at her side.

“We were told to expect the Jedi. You’ll want to head to the right.”

Rey swallowed. “Of course you were,” she muttered, walking by them quickly and taking the right hand corridor.

It didn’t take her long to realize he was close. She could feel his presence through the Force like a buzzing in her head. Despite that, she couldn’t pin down exactly where it was coming from, and she knew she wasn’t going to start knocking on doors.

Just as she started to consider heading back to the Resistance side of the compound, a noise behind her made her spin.

He stood in the hallway, having obvious just come out of one of the rooms, and in much less formal clothing than she had ever seen him before. His gloves were gone, his black clothes loose, and it appeared that he didn’t have shoes on. His gaze raked over her, an uncertainty to his expression that she’d rarely seen. “Rey,” he said lightly, then stopped.

“They made a decision,” she said, her mouth suddenly dry.

He frowned slightly and motioned back towards the door. “Come out of the hallway.”

Rey hesitated then forced herself forward, not stopping until she was in the room where the sight that greeted her brought her up short.

He’d obviously been given a much nicer suite than any of the others that she’d seen. The entire far wall of the room she’d entered was transparisteel, overlooking the glowing blue of the planet far below the station. She forced herself to glance around the rest of the room, finding it furnished much like the other rooms she’d seen, but the view kept drawing her back.

She heard the door shut and he walked past her, the smell of him surrounding her for a moment. It was odd, the things that she missed through the Force bond that made seeing him in person so much more real.  

“You don’t have any guards,” she said, looking away from the view to watch him.

“Why would I?”

“You’re the Supreme Leader now. Snoke had them.”

“For all the good they did him,” he sneered, glancing towards the window where she had been looking.

She took a deep, shuddering breath. “We didn’t have a lot of time, earlier, but I wanted to say… I’ve been wanted to tell you… the funeral—”

“I don’t want to know,” he cut in. Anyone else might have missed it, but she saw him flinch, the briefest of shudders before he went still again. “It doesn’t matter now.”

He didn’t respond, just moved past her again towards the window, but she could feel the tension in him through the Force, a painful pull to the center of her being. “Ben,” she started, but he cut her off.

“Don’t. It’s done. She’s gone.”

She walked to his side slowly, stopping next to him as he stared down at the planet. A part of her longed to reach out to him, offer even a small gesture of comfort, but she held herself back. She wasn’t ready to touch him again, not knowing where it would lead, so she stood silently next to him, waiting, absorbing the dark tension rolling off of him until she could barely stand it anymore.

“Ben, just talk to me. This is driving me crazy.”

He made a noise that might have been a dark laugh if it had been anyone else, and turned to her, causing her to fall back a step. “You?” he questioned sharply.

Rey shook her head with a frown. “Yes, me. I’m the one whose entire life is about to be turned upside down.”

“I asked you to stay with me before, Rey, and you left me for dead. Why should I think this will be any different?”

Rey fell silent, her mind flashing back to that horrible moment on the Supremacy, when she knew she had lost him. She remembered his face, how desperate and vulnerable he had looked, and how much it had broken her to know she couldn’t say yes.

“Because it _is_ different.”

He shook his head. “Not to me. Why haven’t you told me what _your friends_ decided? That’s what you came here for, isn’t it? Afraid of how I’ll react?”

Rey’s resolve hardened at his tone and she stepped back into him. “I made this choice. _Me._ And I’ll be the one standing by your side, trying to make the First Order better, and forcing you to help me do it.”

A swift breath left him, and she saw his eyes widen slightly, his body tensing. “They’re sending you?” he asked, his voice almost a whisper.

“I’m sending myself.”

Something seemed to uncoil inside of him, and before she realized what he was doing, he was kissing her. She gasped in surprise and he took full advantage, kissing her more deeply until she could barely breath, her arms wrapping around him to drag him closer.

In person, it all felt so much _more_. Rey had thought she’d been overwhelmed when they’d kissed through the bond, but this felt like a completely different level. Her entire body sang with his touch, with the rightness of them together. She wanted every part of him, never wanted it to stop.

His hand ran down her spine, sliding under her shirt and vest until it was pressed against warm flesh of her back and dipping lower. She shivered, her own hands on a desperate search for skin as she tore at his shirt until she found the hem, jerking it up. She raked her nails along his side and he broke their kiss, his breath coming in gasps as he buried his face in the crook her neck.

“Rey,” he panted “I haven’t… Only one…”

“Neither have I,” she breathed, trying to slow down the desperate need that was consuming her. “Ever.”

He pulled back, looking down at her with wide brown eyes, and she knew if she’d asked, he would step back and walk away despite how desperate she knew he was for her too. Instead she pulled him into another blazing tangle of lips and tongues. He made a low sound and scooped her up, her legs wrapping around him as he slowly moved them farther into the rooms.

She could feel the length of him pressed against her core through the layers of their clothing, and instead of the hesitancy she had felt before an urgent excitement gripped her. She wrapped her legs around him tighter, shivering at the jolt of pleasure that shot through her from the contact.

He groaned, sitting down abruptly with her still wrapped around him. She opened her eyes to find them on his bed, the knowledge causing her to kiss him harder, her hips rocking unconsciously into his.

Ben’s hands moved to her belt, pulling roughly on the buckle until he dropped her weapons on the floor and he was free to peel off her layers, her vest and shirt and finally breast band adding to the pile on the floor.

She slowed at the feel of the cool air on her breasts, acutely aware of his eyes roaming over her. His hands found them moments later, and the slow drag of his calloused thumb over her nipple caused her to groan, her head falling back at the unfamiliar sensation. When his mouth followed a moment later, she nearly stopped breathing as she arched against him, her hands tugging roughly at his hair.

She grabbed his shirt, pulling it over his head and then pushed him back onto the narrow bed. She settled herself closer over him and then stopped, looking down at the pale expanse of bare chest and having no idea where to start. She wanted every part of him at once, so many dreams and fantasies she’d kept suppressed over the past months rearing their head and demanding attention.

His hands smoothed up her pants-covered thighs and gripped her hips, moving her so she rocked against him again. They both let out little gasps at the movement, and when his thumb moved to her center and pressed, she buckled forward, catching herself on his chest.  

He abruptly rolled them over, reversing their position, and a moment later, their remaining clothes were gone.

He moved up next to her as she tried to ignore how exposed she felt, his hands skimming over her body until one came to rest between her legs. She looked at him hesitantly, their eyes locking as he slowly slipped a finger inside of her and she pulled in a shuddering breath.

“Ben,” she breathed, and he kissed her hard as his fingers started to move against her.

She fell back onto the bed with a small cry as she felt something building inside of her with the steady flicking of his fingers. When his thumb found just the right spot, she cried out, her back arching and her body trembling as she felt heat and pleasure consume her. She writhed under his touch, shudders wracking her as her breath came in heady pants.

“I thought you hadn’t done this before,” she breathed, looking over at him again when she could speak.

For the first time ever, she saw a small smirk slip across his face, and she thought it was the only thing she ever wanted to look at. “Doesn’t mean I didn’t do my research.”

She let out a shuddering breath, looking over his naked body. She hesitantly reached out aa hand, wrapping her fingers around him. He groaned and grabbed her wrist, pulling her away. “If you do that, we’ll never get to the main event.”

“Then what are you waiting for?” she asked, and he immediately moved, settling between her legs as she wrapped them around him, trying to pull him close.  

Her body was desperate for him, even as her mind hesitated. He moved slowly and even as she pulled at him, she was glad of it. He slid in, slow and easy, and she froze, trying to process the sharp pain and the delicious feeling of being stretched, all battling for top sensation.

“Rey,” he gasped, his face buried in her hair, his body tense and unmoving.

She shifted underneath him experimentally and they both moaned at the intense sensation.  “Ben, I need you to move,” she finally said, desperate to feel that again.

He let out a relieved breath and willingly obeyed.

It was over all too quickly, neither one of them able to handle anything longer, and when they fell apart, Rey knew that was the end of her. She’d never felt so close to anyone.

She tucked herself into him and he pulled her closer, a hand absently playing with her now loose hair as sleep threatened to overcome them both. She could sense the Force around them, a gentle connection, not light or dark, that bound them together, and she smiled. She knew she was where she was meant to be. She knew with a certainty that the negotiations the next day would work out. The road ahead wasn’t always going to be the smoothest, but she’d have Ben at her side to face the twists and turns, even if he ended up being the cause of a few. Everything was as the Force willed it.  

She smiled against him, her eyes closed. “Do you feel that?” she asked softly, her hand tracing idle patterns on his skin. 

He made a small humming noise, content for the first time since she’d known him. “Balance,” he replied, pulling her closer. 

She nodded, and they slowly drifted to sleep, certain that the path of their future was the one they were meant to be on.


End file.
